Visit the campus

I was reminded recently by a stateside friend that I often refer to the beauty of the the girls'school campus. I was also reminded that I have never shared many photos of said school. Since little one is only in school three hours this year, I spend large chunks of my weekdays on the campus. Thankfully, the campus has wi-fi, a nice library with a/c, and a fun and funky little cafe/hang out spot. Here are just a few views of the campus. I will try to get more throughout the year.

(credit for above photo goes to Rebekah....almost every day she has to stop at the map and make sure we know where we are going)

The above mentioned cafe. They have the best chocolate brownies I have found in India so far :)

To finish it off, I just had to add a photo of the monkey we saw on Friday. He comes in to chase off the wild monkeys who have decided that the school playground is a cool place to hang out. After chasing them away he pees all over to mark the territory as his and hopefully they don't come back.

What a difference a year makes.....

Let's see.....this time last year....school was starting, we were living in a hotel crossing our fingers every day that our apartment would soon be finished, and trying to track down our shipment from the US. The little one started at a local preschool and big sister in grade 2 at AES. She was sure she would need me close by so I spent the first two days wandering around the school campus. Don't get me wrong, it is one of the most beautiful school campuses I have ever seen, but there is only so much to do. Especially, when you are a new parent and know, if I remember correctly, one other parent. At pick up time, little one was usually sleeping and I would stand off to the side watching all the other moms and dads catch up. Hearing, "How are you? How was your summer? It's so great to see you." It actually made me a little sad and lonely. Thankfully, we have been through this, and I kept telling myself that this too will pass. Even though my head knew this, it still is never easy being the "new kid."

Fast forward a year and she doesn't even look back when heading for the gate on day #1. The little one was telling me, "It's OK mama. We can do this without you."

We go through the gate and check out the class lists and actually recognize multiple names in each of the girls' classes. I look up to see friends I haven't seen all summer. Sigh of relief. I am no longer the new kid. I now belong. That seems petty and elementary schoolish but was actually how it felt. We knew where we were going and even stopped to help some of those lost looking newbies who still have "V" for visitor badges. (Sidenote: getting rid of the "V" badge and getting the real one with your photo is another huge step.) I even helped give tours of the campus to new parents this summer and somehow got roped into being a room mom before classes even started. Hmm...maybe it is time to not belong quite so much??

Being Thankful for It All

I have so many things in my life to be thankful for.... a wonderful husband, beautiful, healthy children, amazing immediate and extended family, good friends all over the world, and the adventure that Dan's job has allowed us to live for the past 16 years. There are days that I get caught in the moment and tend to forget so many of these positives. Life in India is a roller coaster to say the least. I have developed a love/hate relationship with the country. Most days it is more love but every so often those "grrrrr get me home days" creep in.

So, along comes the holiday season. Halloween was all about the kids. I was nervous about having seven families with a total of seventeen children at our place, but it went off with a bang. Friends included us in their Diwali celebration showing us the traditions and joy of this important Indian holiday. Then along comes Thanksgiving. A truly American holiday that I have always loved. Growing up, Thanksgiving was full of aunts and uncles, cousins, and friends. We would eat at lunchtime, then play games, watch football, and pull out the leftovers at dinnertime. Great memories. When we lived in China, most of our friends were American. This meant that Thanksgiving was similar to the way we would celebrate it in the US. Close friends with good food, getting together, being thankful for everything God has given us and creating more precious memories. Our first Thanksgiving in India comes along without any plans. Sadness sets in while thinking of the four of us eating fried rice at home just like any other mealtime. An American friend, who was feeling the same way as I, came along and and bam....let the celebration begin.

We used the clubhouse at our complex which opens onto the playground. We rented a bounce house for the kiddos. No Indian celebration seems complete without a bounce house.

I ordered a turkey with the fixings from the club at the American Embassy and everyone brought their favorite dish. Yummy!! We even had apple pie and a gingerbread house. There were families from all over the world....America, Canada, India, Denmark, UK, Germany, Australia, Sweden and probably one or two more that I forgot.

I think Rachel and her friends put a little of each type of dessert on their plates.

The kids had their own area to sit and eat.

And...the men found a corner to sit in and discuss "man stuff."

I am so thankful for where we live, our friends and neighbors. Every time I am on the hate side of my relationship with India, one of my friends comes along with a smile, an offer to join them for dinner, some much needed advice, and/or a shoulder to lean on. I couldn't ask for anything more.

on the dotted line

Standing in the entry way. The hall to bedrooms is on far right and kitchen is on far left. Neither of these can be seen in this photo. Here the dining area is opening to left and living area is opening to right. Rachel's room....full of bricks. The girls don't seem to mind at all though.

The master bedroom. Where to begin???

For some reason the management won't allow the workmen to work from 2-4 every day. Also, they are not allowed to work on Saturdays or Sundays. Once we are moved in, I am sure this will sound like a good rule. At this very moment, though, I wish they could work 24 hours a day and just get it done. I may just start camping out there every couple days to make sure the workers are motivated.

So, as you can see, we did it...found a flat and signed on the dotted line. That was actually about a week ago but the keys are in my hands now. http://thepinnaclegurgaon.in/ will be our home for the next three years. We are hoping to actually move in by the end of July. Two roadblocks stand in our way. 1) The apartment isn't finished and 2) our shipment of household items is still somewhere on a boat making its way from the US. The girls and I visited the flat today and found, well.....it's hard to describe what we found. You look at the photos yourself and tell me if you think we will be in by the end of July or not.

Back on the hunt

One of the most often asked questions before our move was, "Where will you be living? What kind of place will it be?" I had to tell people that I wasn't really sure. I knew it would be some type of apartment, but that was as much as I knew.


When we left the US, we hadn't even decided between living in Delhi or Gurgaon. Dan's office is in Gurgaon and Rachel's school is in South Delhi. We have now decided on Gurgaon. (See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gurgaon for a little more about Gurgaon) Once we decided on our location, we started on the house/apartment/flat hunt. The word "flat" is used most often here due to the British background. (Will post at a later date on all the British terms we have learned for some of our common terms.) In Gurgaon you can find high rise apartment buildings, three or four story buildings with one flat per floor, individual bungalows, and farmhouses on the outside of town. Most of the flats and bungalows have three to four bedrooms with a bathroom in each. Our real estate broker says this is because commonly there are more than one generation living in Indian homes. The separate bedrooms with attached baths give each generation their own space with privacy. The homes also have a drawing room (what I would call a den or living room), a dining room, and small kitchen.


We ruled out the farmhouses right away. Most of the people we know who have lived in a farmhouse decide to move closer to town and into a flat within the first year. The grounds and gardens are beautiful with peacocks, monkeys, snakes, and other tropical animals wandering right outside your window. The idea of living in such a location sounds wonderfully exotic and even romantic. The realities are that you need to have a staff of four or more people to help take care of the home. Managing a staff that large in itself is enough of a reason for me not to choose a farmhouse as a home. Also, I will admit that monkeys and snakes outside my window are not quite my cup of tea.

We have decided on a flat in a high rise building. The communities are about half expats. I know, I know, what is the appeal of moving to India if you are going to live around people just like you? The appeal is that they are people just like me. There are times when I want to have a neighbor with whom I share some cultural similarities. At the same time they aren't just like me. The expats here are from all over the world. So far, I have found quite an interesting group of people and can't wait to meet more....including Indian, British, Chinese, German, Brazilian, Canadian, and others.

So....we decide on a high rise. The first week we look at 20 flats. We find a place we love in the complex that had the most pros on our list. The company reviews the lease, makes a few amendments, and sends it back to the landlord. In the meantime, someone else comes along and the landlord decides to give the flat to them. Ugh!!!! I had started mentally placing my furniture in the different rooms and making lists of what items we will need to purchase.

Back to the drawing board and the house hunt. Remember, all this house hunting is being done in 100+ degree weather with a three and almost seven year old in tow. It takes four people, and sometimes more, to show the apartment. A driver to get us around, the relocation agent, the real estate broker and often his assistant, the landlord, and sometimes a random other gets involved too. Also, the broker and landlords often don't want to talk to me and just want to know what "sir" thinks or if I should wait until "sir" can come see it to make a decision. There were times when the broker would ask Dan a question about what we wanted in our home. Dan would look right at me for the answer. I would look the broker in the eye and answer him. He then turns to Dan and asks the question all over again. Hello, can't you hear my voice? I can talk louder if you need me to. Getting used to this very patriarchal society is an adjustment for me....if you couldn't tell already.

Today we (the girls, the driver, the relocation person, the broker, and I) went back out looking again. Thankfully, we found a flat in the complex we like. It is being renovated and will be available mid to late July. The landlord was there. He spoke perfect English and seemed very comfortable dealing with me. He didn't even flinch when I told him that Dan had left it up to me to make the decision and didn't need to see the place. Good sign right there that we will get along with the landlord. Later this week, we (the whole group mentioned above) will do a more thorough walk through of the flat. Once this is done, we can sign the lease. I am trying to think positive and am hopeful that this one will be the one. We are all very ready to be out of the hotel and in our own space.

are we crazy?

About four years ago Dan mentioned a position with his company based in New Delhi, India. We joked around about it some. In my head I was thinking, "No way I am moving to India." Thankfully, they chose another person to fill the position. When the offer to go to China came up my first thought was, "At least it's not India." Fast forward to January 2010......Dan comes home and informs me the position in India is opening up again. India? Really? This time it wasn't such a shock as before. I have our wonderful experience and life in China to thank for that. If China was so great maybe India could be similar. As always, my brain kicks into overdrive....Internet, library, bookstores, and travel channel here I come. After much research and email exchange with people already living in New Delhi, we decided to make the look-see trip the second week of March.

We flew from Minneapolis via Newark into Indira Gandhi International Airport. The following morning we hit the ground running to see what we could see of Delhi. These are just a few of the photos I took while in New Delhi. Rachel asked me to take photos of everything so she could help us make a decision about the move. Already the world traveler at six, the look-see trip is old hand for her.

In just under a week, we visited three schools, saw 20 apartments/flats, did some shopping and sightseeing, and just experienced Delhi. Dan worked two days. One of those days I tagged along with a friend to a gathering of a woman's organization. This was such a fabulous opportunity. There were women from all over the US who have lived in India from a couple months to almost ten years. Some are working, and some are stay at home moms of children from teeny tiny to High School age. I tried to glean as much information from them as possible. My head was spinning with information and opinions after this meeting.

Delhi appears to have much to offer the expat family who is willing to get out experience it. From Old Delhi to New Delhi there are architectural masterpieces, historical sites and museums, amazing food, and also modern amenities. Most of the expats I met thoroughly enjoy life in India. This is not to say that it is perfect. It is in no way the easy life we have in the US and can be extremely challenging at times. Traffic is horrible. Good household help is not always easy to find. The cultural differences are at times enormous and difficult to understand and maneuver. "Delhi Belly" is a common occurrence no matter how careful you are. (I actually ended our visit with a case of it....not fun) Life in any foreign country has to be looked at as an adventure and the good and bad all rolled up into one package.

Dan and I returned home with much to process and some major decisions to make in the following week. One day, I feel very excited about the prospect of life in India. The next day, I am wondering if I am off my rocker to be thinking about moving half way around the world again with two young children.

exploring new areas

Every move has its own pattern. Most are similar, at least at the beginning.

At first it is very busy coordinating movers, unpacking, setting up utilities, finding a grocery and all the little aspects of day to day life.

Then there is the settling in and exploring part. In the US, I like to start at the local library. It seems I can really get a feel for the area from the library. They always have information boards of events and happenings. Children's story times are often a good place to meet other moms. These moms can be wonderful resources. I have learned about playgroups, playgrounds, preschools, family friendly restaurants, churches, the best place for a pedicure and made some good friends this way. (Plus, I really enjoy the library. Even before having children, Dan and I would go out for lunch on Saturday and then make a stop at the library. He would get a pile of magazines and a corner seat. I would head into the stacks and peruse. Boring for some. An adventure and whole new world for me.)

The girls first priority is usually finding a playground. Also, an easy place to meet other moms and play mates for the girls. I often like to get out in the car and just drive around. It's amazing what sorts of treasures can be found when getting lost.

When we lived in China, the first few weeks were spent living in a hotel while our apartment was being prepared. Rachel and I spent part of every day walking the local streets and alleways, nosing into shops, and watching people. Or better said....being watched by people. I never thought I was that interesting to look at but to the Chinese I was quite something. One man was walking down the sidewalk backwards while staring at Rachel and I. He almost fell over a woman sitting on the curb selling something (could have been shoes, jewelry, pirate DVDs, who knows). We never went more than seven or eight blocks either way, because I was still a little wary about getting lost and not being able to communicate.

that temporary feeling

Since we relocated to Minnesota, I have felt that this is a temporary stop for the family. I know, I know what you are thinking.....yes, we have been in six locations in sixteen years. What isn't temporary, right? In all the other locations it started feeling like our home soon after we moved in. I started the "nesting" thing, got involved in the community, etc. This time I haven't felt like doing that. Part of it, I am sure, is that we are renting. We can't hang things on the walls, plant flowers, or make any changes. I know that one way or another we will be moving in a year. This temporary or being in transit feeling is odd. Many days I feel as if I am on the outside looking into my life. Not when I am at home with Dan and the girls but in the other aspects of day to day life where I could get involved.

When we lived in China, I quickly made some wonderful friends. Because we lived in a foreign country where everything is new and sometimes challenging, we learned to really rely on one another. It was like being dropped into an instant family. The move back to the US was a little of a letdown. I missed my "China family" and the excitement of living in a foreign country. I didn't really experience much culture shock when moving to China.

[From Wikipedia...Culture Schock refers to the anxiety and feeling (of surprise, disorientation, uncertainty, confusion, etc.) felt when people have to operate within a different and unknown culture such as one may encounter in a foreign country. It grows out of the difficulties in assimilating the new culture, causing difficulty in knowing what is appropriate and what is not. This is often combined with a dislike for or even disgust with certain aspects of the new culture.]

The feeling of loss when we moved back was a complete surprise. It even took me some time to realize why I was feeling down. Of course, the jet lag and searching for a church, schools, and a place to live didn't help either. I was actually very happy wen I read about "reverse culture shock." It is good to know that what I went through is actually very normal.

[Also, from Wikipedia.....Reverse Culture Shock may take place--returning to one's home culture after growing accustomed to a new one can produce the same effects as culture shock. This results from the psychosomatic and psychological consequences of the readjustment process to the primary culture. The affected person often finds this more surprising and difficult to deal with that the original culture shock.]

I hope this doesn't come across as being anti-America. That is not at all how I feel. I am glad to be in the US and love where we are living right now. It is just a step in the process of moving around. I am not sitting around boo-hooing or sleeping all day. I decided to share because I was glad to know I wasn't the only one who went through this and maybe someone else will be too.

foreshadows

I should have known at an early age that I would be leading this type of life. My mother loves to travel, learn, and experience new places. She took my sister and myself on many interesting and educational trips during early years. Being a teacher she always found the historic and educational places to stop on the excursions. It didn't matter if they were day trips or multi-week trips. We would find and see all there was to see. As a child, my sister and I would roll our eyes and razz Mom about "another educational" stop. (Can you hear the groans and see the eye rolling while we said this?)

Thanks to my mom, I have been up and down the eastern part of the US. We were in Seattle when Mount St Helens erupted. I went to various parts of Mexico in fourth grade. (With the high school Spanish class too!! My mom was a chaperone, and I thought I was so cool to be traveling with the older kids. I learned some things that had nothing to do with Mexico or Spanish on that trip.) In high school I made my own trip to Germany with the school and after college returned to Europe for over two months. Needless to say, traveling seems to be in my blood.

One time, at about nine years old, we were in the airport, and I saw the flight attendants walk past. They were pulling their suitcases, laughing, and tossing their hair. I saw them, looked at my mom, and said, "That is what I want to do someday. Where do you think they are going?" It seemed so glamorous and exciting to be able to travel for a living. Many years later I did just that. Believe me the life of a flight attendant is not nearly as glamorous and exciting as it looked to my nine year old self. I rarely felt glamorous and usually felt tired and in need of a shower. But, it was fun and interesting and sometimes exciting for the few years I flew. The parts I enjoyed most were meeting the people and the great friends I made.

Jump ahead to 2004.....Dan and I are on a plane to China to meet our first daughter. When I look back, it seems so obvious that I would be going half way around the world to start a family. Another educational trip to add to the list. More of the traveling gene coming out. I asked Rachel at age four what she wants to be when she grows up. Her answer, "A world traveler, of course." I just nodded my head and said, "Why of course."

Another jump to 2007.....Dan, Rachel, and I are on a plane again to Qingdao, China. Not just a vacation this time but we are moving there for his job. The plan was to be in China four years. We ended up being there only 18 months and were sad to leave. We accomplished quite a bit in our short time though. Here's a quick timeline of our first three months.

-Thanksgiving Day 2007 we are on a flight from Chicago to Beijing.

-December 6, 2007 we are living in a hotel waiting for our apartment to be ready. We get a call from our adoption agency that we have been matched with our second daughter, Rebekah.

-January 4, 2008 We move into our apartment with one set of sheets, a frying pan, a pot and six suitcases. We borrow a blanket, a couple towels, some flatware, and a few plates (thank you Lisa).

-January 6 Rachel starts Pre-k at a new school which gives me a few hours each morning to start learning Chinese and getting us settled.

-A week or so later our first shipment of goods arrive from the US.

-February 18 we meet our second beautiful little girl.

-End of February our big shipment arrives from the US.

Can you say Crazy??

I know, that has nothing to do with traveling but I just wanted to give you a feel for the first few months of living in China.

While in China we did make multiple trips to Beijing and Shanghai, saw and walked the Great Wall at three different locations, went to Xi'an to see the Terra Cotta Soldiers, went to Changsha in Hunan province where Rebekah is from, went to Chongqing and Fuling where Rachel is from, and spent a week in Guangzhou while waiting on adoption paperwork to be finalized. We only made one trip out of the country to the beautiful tropical island of Saipan during Spring Festival 2009. (I am ready to go back there today while looking at the snow outside our Minnesota window.) Dan was able to see more parts of China as well as a couple trips to Korea for work. We had an extensive list of places we wanted to visit during our four years in Asia. Unfortunately, the stay was cut short. We will have to save Thailand, Japan, the Philippines, and New Zealand for a later date.

Why am I rambling about traveling and living in China? (I wanted to say "Why am I waxing poetic?" but realize this is not nearly the case) Partly, I am just documenting so I don't forget. Also, I have just recently realized that every day is an adventure no matter where you live or what you are doing. It makes me wonder what the next step is for us as a family. Dan and I will soon have been married 16 years. This is our sixth location to call home. Again, my early love for traveling and new experiences should have been a foreshadow to the life I am leading today. Thanks Mom for all the prep work........