New Delhi, Weather from Weather Underground

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

letting go

I love my daughters. I always wanted to be a mom but never realized the love that a heart can hold for two little people. (There is room for more too, if it is God's will) My heart is so full and content and blessed. Out of the myriad of jobs I have worked, before, during, and after college, being a mom is the first one that feels like just the right fit.

Who knows where and when the desire to be a parent began for me. Working with the kindergartners when I was in sixth grade? Babysitting in high school? Working as a nanny while in college? Meeting my beautiful nephews and niece? All of these experiences were fuel for making me the mom I am today. Sometimes, I am a good, patient, creative mom. Some days, I am a yelling, short-tempered, not-so-nice mom. On these days, I am embarrassed and feel guilty about not having patience. Thankfully, they are fewer than the good days (or at least I tell myself).

Slowly, I am starting to realize that in order to be the "good" mom more days than not......I need to step away and be hands off once in awhile. This I am not good at. Even when Daddy is home, I tend to step in and do everything and always be hands on. I guess I am a little OC about our children. This said, Dan and I are getting away for a week which causes much anxiety and worry for me. I know the girls we be loved and well cared for with their grandparents. It is just the fact that it won't be me. Any advice on how to handle this, relax, and enjoy our vacation will be greatly appreciated.


  1. G: It's hard. But for your sanity AND really the kids' you must must must get away! You will be so surprised how good it will be for the girls. They will grow in so many ways in this week. And you know what? You aren't the only one who can take care of them. Who cares if it isn't "your" harm will come to them. (this is what my mom told me when it was hard for me to leave Lauren) The grandparents love them too and deserve this time. To grow as a couple you and Dan need this time too. It's a win-win all the way around. After a day or two apart it will get easier....RELAX and have fun! It got way easier for me when I had #2! What's wrong with you??? Hahahahahah Where are you going?

  2. Dan reminded me of something today. His folks have nothing else they need to do while here. The girls will get more one on one attention than they do most days. I went to Barnes and Noble today and bought them some fun stuff to open throughout the week. Thanks for your advice. In my head, I know they will be fine but not as easy in my heart. Rebekah just seems so little.
    BTW...we are going to India for the week. Thus, another anxiety issue since we will be halfway around the world and not just an hour or two away.

  3. WELL DEAR LORD G! I didn't know you were going to INDIA! Bengt and I were planning to go this year (March in fact!) but Lisa and Mark decided to go. Bengt was delighted. He is sick of the annual pilgramage and his severe sicknesses while there. Why are you going to INDIA? I'm so excited for you and now understand your concern. I thought you were going away for a long weekend or something! : ) Would love to chat more later.....T

  4. Now wouldn't that have been hilarious if we were all in Delhi at the same time. Hoping we don't get stocked up on meds and will try to be extremely careful with H2O.