Rebekah is three!!

I am so thankful for the beautiful little girl Rebekah is turning into. It seems as if she has matured so much in the past two weeks. Little Miss Independence is her new name. Her birthday became a three day celebration. We started by taking cupcakes to her class at church on Wednesday. Thursday, we had lunch at school with Rachel and passed out lollipops to the class. (We have been doing weekly lunch duty so Rebekah thinks she is actually part of the first grade class.) Friday was the actual birthday party. Pizza, cake, presents, and a couple friends.....what more could a three year old ask for?

are we crazy?

About four years ago Dan mentioned a position with his company based in New Delhi, India. We joked around about it some. In my head I was thinking, "No way I am moving to India." Thankfully, they chose another person to fill the position. When the offer to go to China came up my first thought was, "At least it's not India." Fast forward to January 2010......Dan comes home and informs me the position in India is opening up again. India? Really? This time it wasn't such a shock as before. I have our wonderful experience and life in China to thank for that. If China was so great maybe India could be similar. As always, my brain kicks into overdrive....Internet, library, bookstores, and travel channel here I come. After much research and email exchange with people already living in New Delhi, we decided to make the look-see trip the second week of March.

We flew from Minneapolis via Newark into Indira Gandhi International Airport. The following morning we hit the ground running to see what we could see of Delhi. These are just a few of the photos I took while in New Delhi. Rachel asked me to take photos of everything so she could help us make a decision about the move. Already the world traveler at six, the look-see trip is old hand for her.

In just under a week, we visited three schools, saw 20 apartments/flats, did some shopping and sightseeing, and just experienced Delhi. Dan worked two days. One of those days I tagged along with a friend to a gathering of a woman's organization. This was such a fabulous opportunity. There were women from all over the US who have lived in India from a couple months to almost ten years. Some are working, and some are stay at home moms of children from teeny tiny to High School age. I tried to glean as much information from them as possible. My head was spinning with information and opinions after this meeting.

Delhi appears to have much to offer the expat family who is willing to get out experience it. From Old Delhi to New Delhi there are architectural masterpieces, historical sites and museums, amazing food, and also modern amenities. Most of the expats I met thoroughly enjoy life in India. This is not to say that it is perfect. It is in no way the easy life we have in the US and can be extremely challenging at times. Traffic is horrible. Good household help is not always easy to find. The cultural differences are at times enormous and difficult to understand and maneuver. "Delhi Belly" is a common occurrence no matter how careful you are. (I actually ended our visit with a case of it....not fun) Life in any foreign country has to be looked at as an adventure and the good and bad all rolled up into one package.

Dan and I returned home with much to process and some major decisions to make in the following week. One day, I feel very excited about the prospect of life in India. The next day, I am wondering if I am off my rocker to be thinking about moving half way around the world again with two young children.

Notes from my mom

When my mom read what I had posted about the day we met Rebekah, (See post "Two Years" from 2/17/10) she sent some notes she kept about what was going through her head the day before and day of Rebekah joining her family. They are so well written and heartfelt. I just had to share with all of you. By the way, and on a totally unrelated note, my girls and my sister's boys all call my mom "Gramcracker." Just a fun extra :) The above photos were taken of Gramcracker and the girls about a week after Rebekah joined our family. (Rachel 4 3/4 and Rebekah 9 1/2 mos)

REBEKAH’S FIRST DAY

by Judy Ligo

Today was one of my many new experiences. After settling on the thirtieth floor of the hotel in Changsha, many of the group started out to the grocery store for diapers, baby cereal, and correct formula. They struggled to read labels written in Chinese Characters. Four year old Rachel and I trailed behind Gwen as she also searched for many of these things. This being her second experience adopting and having lived in China for three months at this point, she had more specific goals in mind.

Being pushed and shoved by local domestic residents I insisted that Rachel stay with me and hold my hand as we tried to keep Gwen in view and bumped and shoved to stay with her. I was not accustomed to this crowded lifestyle and sensing the stares of Asian eyes. I was the one whose fake blond hair and blue eyes drew the stares. In this community my Caucasian looks did not attract as much attention as it had in Qingdao. Rachel’s olive complexion and sleek black hair provided a confusing comparison with my looks and aroused the curiosity of the other shoppers.

We had to get accustomed to the inquisitive looks we received.

Now I began to feel some of the nervousness and mixed emotions of these young American adults who were soon to experience a total change in their lives.

Many who had been living a comfortable two income lifestyle in Middle-America were overnight to become parents with unknown responsibilities for small children from ten months to three years of age who had never been outside the walls of orphanages.

The lives for these American, well educated, comfortable adults and these small totally dependent little ones would soon be melded into a “family”. This afternoon they were facing unknown situations and their future would take on a new dimension.

What about the Chinese young people who had fathered and birthed these babies and who will never know about the loving homes that will be opening for these infants they left at a gate in a park or at a police station?

I look down at Rachel and what she is developing into – bright, intellectually curious. Then, I think of the coming afternoon for me.

Here I am experiencing what hundreds of grandparents in the U.S. are wishing they could share with me. Sitting at home in Middle America in their warm comfortable homes waiting for the first call from over the ocean that now they are suddenly the grandma and pop-pop of a child that they will love and cherish for the rest of their lives.

They will buy Christmas and Birthday gifts for them, introduce them to their friends, take pictures and be proud of their soft black hair and the most beautiful big dark eyes..

They will wrap their arms around these little ones as they return to the US to be the newest citizens, as immigrants since the 1600’s, have brought new life to the American culture.

I must remember this special opportunity that has been given to me.

Sharing and watching the new parents carry these special gifts back to the hotel –this new beginning for them.

Rachel is so excited waiting to see her new sister carried off the elevator

One couple is getting twins, one is getting a 3 year old and many are getting girls just under a year old, each of whom will celebrate her first birthday in the US with loving extended family and siblings.

This, my second Chinese granddaughter experience, is different than the first time when I was one of those at home waiting with the extended family.

Now, I have the privilege of being here to serve as companion for my granddaughter who is 4 ½ and as she says “I am American” and so she is as she speaks only English, sings “Jesus Loves Me” freely, and soaks learning as each new day begins.

Rachel arrived at the hotel much the way her little sister will arrive. Soon like thousands of big sisters before her, she will open her heart and become the play-mate and companion this little one will look up to for the rest of their lives.

Exploring Winnepeg

Playing in the mirrors at the Manitoba Children's Museum.

Heading to the pool.

"Polar Bear" riding at the Winnepeg Zoo

Rachel and school

Rachel and some of her friends on the school playground. Five of the sixteen girls in her class.

Yesterday, I had Rachel's parent-teacher conference for the end of third quarter. What a joy it is to hear someone gush over our little girl. My apologies if that comes across as sounding overly proud. It's just that in my eyes, totally biased of course, she is perfect. Well....not perfect but at least the smartest, prettiest, funniest, and friendliest six year old ever. It is nice to hear that she is right on target for first graders. Average for math skills and above average in reading and phonics. She has lots of friends, both boys and girls and tends to play with whoever is having the most fun. Her strengths seem to be when she is in front of people. Singing, acting, and reading out loud all tend to be her cup of tea. So different from me in this way. I am comfortable with people and able to talk to almost anyone. (most of you are saying....and talk, and talk, and talk.) I do not like to be by myself in front of a group though. Rachel loves it and can't wait for the next opportunity.

An anecdote from this quarter. The first graders had a field trip to St Mary's hospital. There was a role playing experience about taking someone to the emergency room. They were given the scenario but the words and actions were impromptu, on the spot. Rachel was chosen to play the part of "Mom" taking a little one to ER. Chairs were set up to be the car. "Dad" got in the driver's seat while Rachel buckled in little one. She then went to the driver's side and said, "Move over Dad, I'm driving." At this point the teachers and chaperones in the back of the room started giggling which just pumped her up more. I guess from this point on, she took over the play and had them all in tears with her comments. For example, the "Nurse" asks if they have other children and Rachel says, "No, but we are seriously considering it." She loved it and can't wait to get on a stage again. Could it be possible that she has found her calling at an early age. No, but it is fun to see her enjoying life so much.

Rebekah and I have been volunteering at lunch and recess two days a week this month. It is nice to get a "fly on the wall" type of view of the class and its dynamics. At first, Rachel thought it was cool to have her little sister visit. She is now so "over it." Thankfully, the other girls in first grade love having Rebekah around and always ask her to come sit with them or play on the playground with them. I am also thankful that she still loves to have me come to school. Hmmmm....wonder what age this will become uncool??? Sooner than I will be ready for so I'm loving every opportunity I have now.

Welcome Spring!!

Blowing bubbles in new boots

Rachel, my little biker chick

Rebekah, full of joy, as always

Welcome Spring!!! I hope you are here to stay and not teasing us. Not being totally naive, I am ready for the late April snow storm but secretly praying that it doesn't happen. More SUNSHINE, bluer skies, longer days. It happens every year but never ceases to amaze me how much the weather can affect our moods. Thankfully, our girls LOVE winter. I think cabin fever in Minnesota would have gotten the best of me if it hadn't been for them. Rachel would come off the school bus saying, "Come on, let's go outside and PLAY!!" Rebekah always wanted to shovel and stomp in the snow. What a great reminder of how much fun the winter can actually be.

That said, we were all starting to get a little bored with the cold and wet stuff. Rachel most of all. I could see it in her attitude. The "I am bored, don't know what else to do, so will be sassy and a trouble maker" attitude. Since the weather has changed, she is a different person. I'm sure I am too which probably helps her attitude. We have been out almost every day between school and dinner resulting in two exhausted girls . Earlier bedtime also makes Mommy a happier person :)

letting go

I love my daughters. I always wanted to be a mom but never realized the love that a heart can hold for two little people. (There is room for more too, if it is God's will) My heart is so full and content and blessed. Out of the myriad of jobs I have worked, before, during, and after college, being a mom is the first one that feels like just the right fit.

Who knows where and when the desire to be a parent began for me. Working with the kindergartners when I was in sixth grade? Babysitting in high school? Working as a nanny while in college? Meeting my beautiful nephews and niece? All of these experiences were fuel for making me the mom I am today. Sometimes, I am a good, patient, creative mom. Some days, I am a yelling, short-tempered, not-so-nice mom. On these days, I am embarrassed and feel guilty about not having patience. Thankfully, they are fewer than the good days (or at least I tell myself).

Slowly, I am starting to realize that in order to be the "good" mom more days than not......I need to step away and be hands off once in awhile. This I am not good at. Even when Daddy is home, I tend to step in and do everything and always be hands on. I guess I am a little OC about our children. This said, Dan and I are getting away for a week which causes much anxiety and worry for me. I know the girls we be loved and well cared for with their grandparents. It is just the fact that it won't be me. Any advice on how to handle this, relax, and enjoy our vacation will be greatly appreciated.